~ marriage? ~

26 May 1999

what do you think about marriage?

today, i just heard that my friend might getting married. i’m supposed to be excited and, of course, happy for him. but i’m not. no, i’m not his ex girlfriend. and no, i’ve never had any “more than just friend” feelings toward him.

i just think that they are not ready to live the married life. some might say, who am i to judge who’s ready or not… maybe i’m not supposed to judge. i do not tell him not to. and i’ve never showed my disapproval (not that my approval make any difference).

they have been together for 5 months. i know that the length of the relationship should not determine the compatibility. but, from what i heard, their reason for getting married is to prolong the girl’s permit for staying in the US. i just think it’s not a good reason to get married.

i think marriage is more than just two people living together, one’s working to get money and the other one’s cooking. he has a good job that pays *very* well, and she’s a good cook (maybe i’m just jealous, cause i do not possess either of those?).

argh! maybe it’s not a good time to write… i can’t even put my thoughts together and arrange it in an understandable manner.

i would just write everything in my point of view. i know the guy for about 6 years and know the girl for approximately 6 months. not long, huh? the guy knew the girl for about 10 months, maybe less. he’s a very smart guy (graduating Cum Laude), and i do not know much about her. what i know about her is she’s unemployed, she’s a good cook, and she’s 3 years older than him. she is his first love, and he is her (some numbers but one)-rd love.

for the last 5 months, since they are together, he seems to be in his happiest momment in his life, which is very good. i have never seen him smiling that much. he also changed a lot. he used to spend most of his days in the office (yup, he was a workaholic), even in the weekends. now, he goes home arund five. he also does not call his friends anymore. he does not even talk to his roommate anymore (not to mention hanging out with him). he bought a new car, and planning to move to a single apartment in a few months.

on the 3rd month of dating, she moved to his apartment, and live there permanently. his parents came to visit and within 3 days, he introduced her to his parents and asked them if they can get married. the reason was… her visa is expiring so she wouldn’t be able to stay in the country. in order to prolong the stay, she either has to find a job that would sponsor her for a working visa, or get married… they chose the second option.

i know the time is running out due to her staying permit. but marriage is not a small thing, where you can just throw it away if you don’t like it and buy a new one. how about the responsibility? how about the communication? how about…. argh… i do not know what else to say. i do not have a guts to talk to him or her. i do not think it is my place to say anything against thier decision. can’t they wait for a little bit til their passion has cooled down and they can think with their head instead of their emotion?

i guess, i just sounded like a jealous friend, huh?