~ judgemental ~

02 June 1999

isn’t it a little *too* judgemental to say that one wouldn’t make a good spouse for smoking and having some piercing here and there?

i smoke and i have several parts of my body pierced. but i dont think i’m a bad person. i don’t intentionaly hurt people… (just accidentally… ). i don’t steal. i follow the law… mostly. heck! i even believe in God!

how could someone whom just met me twice says that i’m not a good person? just because i said that i drove 10 hours to Canada by myself, she assumed that i’m too impulsive. does my independence intimidating? if i do not need other people’s help, does that mean i’m not worthy to be a wife? what the hell?!?

it seems so easy to judge people from the first sight. i trully think before you labelled someone, you should see both side of the person. if you look for flaws, you can spot it easily on anyone. but it’s hard to see the good in him/her if you do not want to open your eyes to see it. even if you see it, your brain just do not register it.

i wish people would see beyond what they assume. and, to tell you the truth, it’s not that hard. especially in me. i do not look intimidating…. i’m only 5’2”. small, skinny, almost invisible. there are ways i tried to make myself more stand out. like dying my hair in all bright colors…..

have you ever asked my why i did all those things? no… well, let me tell you. i dye my hair, i pierced my tongue just for the sake of knowing how it feels. i was in college at that time, where i do not ahve any responsibility on how i look. i have a total freedom looking as nasty as i wanted, and no one can do anything about it. the professors would not be able to kick me out of the class for having a green head!

but when it got closer to graduation, i calmed my appearance down. i dye my hair back to black. i stop getting all the piercing, and even when i got the piercing done, i thought about it more then a year before hand and selectively choose the place to do, so i wouldn’t have to stuck with metal hanging out from my visible flesh during any interviews.

don’t worry, i know the limit. and if you are scared that i wouldn’t be a good mother, let me tell you something. i came from a great family. and i believe my parents have taught me well. i know right now, i’m not ready to be a parent yet. but someday, when the time comes, i am educated enough to be able to handle the situation. i’m not saying that i know everything. but i’m confident that i will be able to learn on what to do and be a good mom.