~ the lost cause ~

11 June 2005
warning: this entry probably won’t make much sense. it’s just a free thoughts floating around in my head. so, this entry won’t be coherent, entertaining or informative. sorry about that… :P

a few days ago, i got a message saying that she’s coming home. i don’t think how to react, though. should i be happy? i’m not sure i was happy… should i be worried? yes, i think i am worried, although i’m not so sure what i’m worried about… should i be excited? well, i’m pretty sure i wasn’t excited. maybe my feeling was closer to numb. and i feel guilty that i was numb… i shouldn’t be numb. ugh.

one thing i know for sure… that i wish i could be there. not so much for her. but for the people around her. although, to tell the truth, i don’t think i’m much of a use for people around her anyway… but i just feel bad not to be help.

gosh. we were so close. but now, i don’t feel anything about her at all. again, numb. and numb is bad.

… well, i kinda want to slap her in the face. but that’s also bad.

i don’t know how to be supportive.