~ parents issue ~

05 March 2003

my parents are weird. they fight. well, it’s not like they throw each other chairs or anything. but they don’t talk to each other. sometimes, my mom makes this cold cold face and cold cold voice whenever she talks to my dad. my dad would get sad and, later, angry.. and they both, in a different time, talked trash about each other to ME. for the first few weeks i was here, i was all fine with that. i feel like i’m contributing my ears for the sake of the family peace.

but now, i’m so fuckin sick of it. they just whine and whine but they fix nothing. sometimes, after they finish pouring their hearts on me, all the sudden they’re back and nice to each other. it’s weird. i think they both have this thing within them. not a good thing. but suppressed bad feelings that they can’t tell each other. so, instead, they have to tell it to other person. like the 3rd party. and in this case, i’m the 3rd party.

i don’t mind being the 3rd party, as long as it solve the problems. i just don’t think it does. as i said, they whined to get over it. but after a few days or weeks, it comes back and the cold war starts all over again. why don’t they just talk it through once and for all? and that’s it. done. no more whinning about each other….

i don’t wanna be like that when i grow up. please.