~ cranky ~

18 September 2002

i’ve been making emoticons for Bolt in the past two days, tinkering with pixels and all. after weeks of stress trying to meet ridiculous deadlines on multiple projects, it’s nice to do some mindless work (like creating emoticons… fun fun).

speaking of stress, i’ve been extremely cranky lately. ari is probably tired of me altering back and forth between sulk mode and rant mode. i don’t know why my mood is all screwed up like this. a few thoughts/guesses:

- it’s the whole 9/11 thing. i underestimate it last year and i ended up crying in the office bathroom at least 5 times a day for a few months after. this year, i might have underestimate it again.

- i’m actually stressed out about moving back to indonesia, or south east asia for that matter. anxiety, maybe? i haven’t lived there for the past 10 years, but it’s hard to admit that i’m actually scared and nervous to live in the place i call home.

- i’m tired and just wanna lazing at home.

anything is possible, right?

~ comment (18) ~

It could be the end of summer. It could be a woman thang. It could be annoying people. It could be anything. But whatever it is, it’ll be okay. *hug*

anna | 18 September 2002 - 01:52 | reply

Poo, I haven’t been back home (South Asia) in ten years as well and from the changes that I hear took place, I’d be pretty stressed out about living there again too.

Anita | 18 September 2002 - 05:21 | reply

i browsed around and ended up reading your journal. i am coming home to indonesia by the end of this year as well, after living here for 6 years. likewise, im scared and i can imagine how you feel since you’ve been living here for 10 years. at first, i decided to stay here but lots of friends who have come home for good, were encouraging me to come home. its not that bad they said. they have good job and good life too. of course, we will find some points that we might consider them weird. we’re just afraid that we cant do the same things we used to have while we’re in states. there’s nothing better than a place called ‘home’ after all indo is our home. quote smp : ‘daripada ujan emas di negara org lebih baik ujan batu di negara sendiri’ sorry loh blog nya jadi penuh. :)gorgeous website anyways. take care!

L | 18 September 2002 - 05:31 | reply

anna — thank you! that was very sweet :*)

anita & L, thanks. regarding moving, we’ll see. i think it’s just the cold feet thing :)

thalia | 18 September 2002 - 09:36 | reply

hei thalia…i’m going home too nih probably by the beginning of next year. kinda stressful too. gue juga dah disini 10 taonan. dan dan gak pulang2 straight in the last 7 years. duh culture shock nih pasti. bukannya norak, tapi u know how it is after spending in other country and suddenly u have to go back home. and from what i’m knowing, jakarta is totally different now. i hope i’ll be ok too when i go home. and hope that u’ll do fine too :) biar gimana pun juga indo tanah ibu kelahiran and i missed so much too. gimana kalo kita ketemu nih di jkt kalo sama2 pulang hehehe.

velas | 18 September 2002 - 10:27 | reply

Face your reality.
The country needs persons like you.
Even though it’ll be hard for you, but eventually you’ll get used to.. and the frictions will go away by itself.
Human doesn’t follow culture, culture follows human.
We need you here.
Motivate yourself a courage to live, anywhere you stepped your foot in.

Ganesha Tamzil | 19 September 2002 - 12:11 | reply

Keliatannya adaptasinya memang agak susah sich, gue yang baru sebentar di aussie aja (about 4 years) kalo balik ke Indo, 2 - 3 minggu pertama pasti ga betah. Apalagi udaranya panas banget, tapi (IMO) lama2 pasti kebiasa koq.

felisha | 19 September 2002 - 02:54 | reply

“There’s no place like HOME!!”.. Believe me, I would rather be HERE than anywhere else…

BlueShades | 19 September 2002 - 04:24 | reply

velas, boleh juga tuh :) kasih tau ya kalo udah nyampe di indo!

thalia | 19 September 2002 - 09:51 | reply

Home sweet home …. and for me … home is where you have your heart at … If you can find where your heart belongs … you’ll be fine.
That’s what I think. :)

Emon | 19 September 2002 - 11:21 | reply

i think i know how you feel… i am both excited and also very anxious about the thought of going home for good, even though it wouldn’t be until a couple years from now…

but i’m sure you’ll be fine adapting… afterall, there’s no place like home, right? ;)

desi | 19 September 2002 - 05:57 | reply

I think I know how you feel. When I first moved to Canada, I hated everything, but now that I’ve pretty much settled down (even though its only been 6 months), I wondered what it’d be like to go home for good, and start re-adapting to things again.

But its true what they say, ‘there’s no place like home’, but then again home is where your heart is..

WHERE exactly is your heart,thalia? in indo or the states? =)

hope you’ll have a safe and fun trip back to indo.

irene | 20 September 2002 - 10:33 | reply

We’re in the same boat, just thinking about it makes me dizzy, BUT I think if you can manage living the states ( especially NY ) for 10 years , then jakarta would be a piece of cake :-)

lilpixel | 20 September 2002 - 11:48 | reply

hehehe, heart doesn’t matter when INS tells you to get out… (oops, too bitter :P)

thalia | 20 September 2002 - 10:19 | reply

sure i will…ntar kalo gue dah balik. tak hubungin deh dikau. i know where to contact you ehhe…this blog! asal gak dimatiin aja. en u got my email too. hope jkt is not too bad wehh..anyway..kayaknya bakalan elo yg balik duluw sih. so ntar gue kalo balik gue email2 deh..

velas | 21 September 2002 - 07:11 | reply

my tips: don’t live with your family.. get your own place.. then everything will be just fine! trust me girl,.. been there.. done that.. I was like you last year..

survivor | 24 September 2002 - 05:17 | reply

Ugh, i got the same shit then Thal, baru 2 taun sih ga balik, cuman ngeri aja sama semuanya, kebiasaan hidup sendiri, well that’s why i’m gonna live alone (nge-kost) for a month/sampe dapet kerjaan tetap.
But on the other side, i couldnt wait to see tha JUNGLE. :P

Marthin | 24 September 2002 - 11:13 | reply

IŽm just a dutch guy who likes to chat. We like jusing emoticos but the ones available in msn-messenger are boring, we like our own better, but how to implement them in our fasion? Can you help?

Chris Mank | 4 March 2003 - 06:53 | reply