~ how to stop? ~

30 October 1999

i don’t feel well today. not physically, but more mentally. long talk about relationship with ari always scares me. and we had that long talk yesterday.

this afternoon, i called Dadiet. he’s my friend (and an ex boyfriend) who lives in Indonesia. we’re sorta updating about what’s going on in our lives, what’s up in Indonesia.. etc. and again, he came up with the exact same thing ari told me. “you gotta learn how to stop! or at least planning to” and “i think you don’t have confindence in yourself.”

i was hoping to hear something else. i was hoping ari was wrong. i guess, he’s never been wrong to begin with.